


sunflowers

by elixurkecob



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, Nostalgia, Unrequited Love, but its okay not rlly but he falls out of love, for obvious reasons, jacob feels like shit, kevin and sunwoo make each other happy in the end, kevin is rlly struggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27738130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elixurkecob/pseuds/elixurkecob
Summary: kevin thought that he would be his forever
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae, Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Kim Sunwoo/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	sunflowers

**Author's Note:**

> hi i had my gf proofread this and my sister develop the plot youre in for a wild ride. based off of the post i keep on getting on insta abt sunflowers facing each other when they cant find the sun yes.

here he was again, on the cold– _oh, so freezing cold_ – floor of his bathroom. kevin thought that maybe, just maybe, jacob could be his forever. but maybe not. maybe not, because here he was, ignoring the scratchy feeling in his throat as more and more sunflowers spilled from his mouth.

kevin didnt blame it on jacob. he couldnt help if he would fall in love with him or not, he knew that internally. but if anyone were to ask him, he would place the blame on him. because kevin was never one to take the blame for something that is partially his own fault.

his eyes would tear up before he felt the petals coming up. kevin couldnt come up with any excuses, but thankfully jacob was kind enough not to mention anything about what was so terribly wrong with him.

kevin didnt mean to fall in love with his best friend, he really didnt. but he couldnt help it. as much as he tiptoed around the trap, he fell for the others angelic charms.

he wanted to cry. hell, he didnt even know what he meant by he _wanted_ to cry anymore, because everyday, every time, he would sob the little heart that the sunflower petals didnt take.

jacob was his sun, and kevin was simply just the moon that would orbit around him. some would say that fate had twisted itself as for the moon and the sun to be unable to become closer than before, only a bridge of destruction to one another.

kevin knew that it was a problem. but he didnt want to forget the other. he didnt want to forget the melodies that the other would sing in hopes to cure the curse of his insomnia, he didnt want to forget each summer full of melting ice creams cones and dog cafés, he didnt want to forget the two a.m. convenience store hangouts.

kevin would rather die than to forget all the memories that the two of them shared, hand in hand as they walked the cold winter sidewalks.

but of course, as the universe had hoped, his dreams were never fulfilled, everytime they became tears. and so once again, his heart shattered as well as his hopes.

kevins family was worried for him. he knew they were. his mom would call him frequently and start crying at the rasp to his voice, his sister toned down the insults and made sure he was taking care of himself, and there was so much more. of course he was thankful for it, but his mind was just always _jacob, jacob, jacob._

sometimes, kevin wished to be a sunflower. face the sun that symbolized peace and happiness only to fall asleep at night when only the dark was left to loom above.

he remembers the other graduating high school before him, a slight bittersweet feeling despite knowing that they would meet again next year. he remembers the bouquet of sunflowers he gave him, because he knew that those were his favorite.

and so kevin curled into himself on the freezing tiles of this cramped and stuffy bathroom, crying his heart out with dry coughs inbetween if the cursed petals didnt come up again.

kevin, for once, was thankful for hyunjae. because he knew that if hyunjae didnt take note of how long he had been in the bathroom, perhaps he wouldve been dead by now. in the back of his head, the thought of _maybe it would be better if i did_ floated unwillingly.

now, kevin was face to face with an important decision. does he let himself wither away, carry memories of his sun and weight of dread until his very last breath? or does he forget the one he cherishes most, everything from meeting in kindergarten till the heartbreak of figuring out that he wasnt the one the other loved.

kevin knew what was more practical. maybe he and jacob would meet again in their next life, maybe without the pain and petals. kevin knew it would be better to pay the cost of forgetting the most important part of his childhood to early adulthood would be better than a slow, torturing death.

kevin, with a wavering voice and shaking hands, answered the doctor in front of him. he would do the surgery.

it surprised him how there was no appointment to be set up, though he later learned that it was because they didnt want to risk losing anyone before they could make it to the hospital.

_curse hospitals and their fake concern._

kevin was bitter, there was no sweet to it this time like there was when jacob vanished to university for a year, he was bitter.

the doctors understood. they didnt know what it was like, _of course they didnt,_ but no doubt it must feel awful to be forced to blank at the thought of the person you would keep close to your heart and never wanted to let go.

they let him pour his heart and soul out to them, tears and petals slipping when he did. and then he fell asleep.

kevin wouldnt be asleep for years, the doctors had told him, only for around two hours. and he would be in a daze as soon as he awoke, confused as to everything much like a lost doe at the sight of car headlights.

kevin wished that he would, but he knew that he wouldnt remember the last name that pierced his heart and mind before he passed out.

_jacob, jacob, jacob._

  


from the comfort of his couch, jacob was sobbing as he was wrapped in his favorite blanket. he remembers sharing it with kevin during every movie night.

he knows that kevin is doing what is best for him, this wasnt to hurt him.

but jacob couldnt help but feel more heartbreak than nostalgia. kevin wouldnt remember a thing about him anymore, everything would be gone. kevin wouldnt remember his name, every facetime concert, every late night rooftop picnic, every early morning road trip. he would grow to deem him as a stranger if his name were to be mentioned.

maybe they could grow to be friends yet again. of course it wouldnt be the same, jacob knowing him since youth whilst the other would only remember the early twenties, but it was better than nothing.

it was better than nothing, because jacob didnt want to lose him forever. because jacob didnt want to be forgotten.

the message was simple. _we’re sorry to inform you that kevin moon has hanahaki, and will be going through surgery today. he wont remember you, and for that we apologize, but without this he would die. have a nice rest of your day, feel free to visit when the surgery is over._

jacob wouldnt be able to bear that look of confusion.

  


kevin, with drooping eyes slowly opening then shutting at the intrusion of far too bright lights, had no idea how he ended up in a hospital and why his throat felt so incredibly dry. holy shit, he needed water.

luckily, there was a glass waiting for him with a sticky note attached to the small nightstand. _take a drink, then press the button on the wall._ it seemed trustworthy, so he followed the instructions. nothing happened for a few moments.

and then came in a doctor with a few nurses by their side, asking him how he felt and if he knew any man named jacob. was this supposed _jacob_ some super important person or something? genuinely, he had no clue.

thankfully, the doctor and nurses left soon, and kevin was allowed to look around the room he was in for a reason he still didnt know.

almost immediately, a boy caught his eye. dark hair, much like kevins though shorter, despite still covering most of his ears. his eyes were closed– maybe he was sleeping, kevin sure did hope he was, because it was already weird enough that he thought a random stranger he was sharing a hospital room with was cute and it would only get worse of they werent alive– but he could tell that the.... younger? he looked younger, not by much though– had doe eyes.

damn, he was admiring some random person sleeping near him, isnt that weird. as if it wasnt already weird enough that he was in a hospital for what he would for now call no reason.

and then suddenly, the boys eyes peeled open and kevin immediately turned away. from what he heard, it sounded like the other person in the room took a sip of water, and then a few moments after, in came the doctors and nurses.

something like _sunwoo, d_ _o you know anyone called_ – kevin couldnt hear the name too clearly, but he could manage a guess– _choi chanhee._

and this boy, this man, had the same reaction as he– which was, to clarify, utter confusion. he wasnt sure if he liked it or not.

before the doctors and nurses left the room, he spoke up his voice a bit scratchy still and his throat still a bit sore.

 _why are we here? what happened to us?_ valid questions, if you were to ask either of the patients. and with the way that the doctor only shushed kevin, it made it even worse.  


and then they left. there was a pause before one of them spoke, something that sounded like a muttered _sketchy_ from the boy in the hospital bed beside him.

and he was right. sunwoo (he thinks, he only now remembered the doctor saying his name) wasnt wrong at all. however, he continued.

 _what do you say we explore, i dont think we cant stand or anything._ fuck it, why not?  


  


jacob swore he saw him. jacob swore that he saw kevin, in his favorite hoodie and sweatpants. and he _did_ see him. and he wanted to talk to him.

but he couldnt. he couldnt do that to himself, that would be some sort of masochist with his emotions if he were to do that.

and so he ignored the longing. maybe the moon fell in love with the sun, but the sun turned away and faced his mercury, and now the moon had turned his back too, unable to live without forgetting him. jacob hoped that he would find his earth, and hopefully sometime soon.

  


kevin noticed that sunwoo acted much like pluto. his demeanor was cold and he was quite distant, but soon he blossomed to be a beautiful neptune. and days droned on and on, and the two were closer than ever.

sunwoo would sing melodies to cure his insomnia, spend summers with him that were full of melting ice cream cones and dog cafés, go with him on two a.m. convenience store hangouts.

and maybe the moon was falling in love, neptune soon becoming the earth that he orbited around.

  


soon, the two received phone calls, finally telling them about the stay that was from years ago. kevin had heard of it before, hanahaki. he fell in love with the boy named jacob, only for him to love someone else. he lost his best friend. sunflower petals, a bright but awful yellow.

as for sunwoo, his mortal enemy. he didnt mean to fall in love, dark red rose petals flooding his throat and lungs. maybe it was better if they forgot.

maybe sunwoo had lost his uranus, and kevin has lost his sun, but with the boy with a sunflower tattoo on his ankle, the two of them had realized that without a sun, the two must face each other.

  


from afar, jacob watched with a smile, wondering what would happen if he were to approach the two that blossomed into something beautiful. maybe, someday, he would.

he still felt that bittersweet pang in his chest, but surely it would fade soon. he was proud of kevin, really, because in the darkest of times, sunflowers must face each other to give hope and happiness once again.

**Author's Note:**

> are you crying. idk why you would be. but i hope you enjoyed!! didnt mention hyunjae as much as i thought i would, but hey, why does that matter? comments and kudos are appreciated!! - 🍑


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